If only pregnancy was glamourous!

Ok so my arse is growing faster than my belly. It is sooooo depressing! I 'thickened' from my hips to my ribs really fast but now my bott is going out in support of a less than two cm baby way faster than could possibly be deemed necessary. I am also painfully pale and looking half dead. I'm certainly not bringing sexy back!

The good news is I am most definitely pregnant! The bad news is I am not one of those women that glows when a baby is on board. My eyes are sunken and blackened, I am what can only be described as morgue white, with that hint of blue and blotchy, and for someone who is 8 weeks pregnant tomorrow, it is a pregnancy that is not staying hidden! I have next to no nausea but the tiredness is overwhelming. I'm exhausted. I am feeling so ever middle aged despite being in my mid thirties. Well 37.

My scan on Friday went well. Despite the occasional, heart stopping spotting the baby is growing well. It looks like a caterpillar, the gestational sac is perfect in shape and the little heart beat is going 150 beats a minute. I saw it. And to make me cry. I heard it. There is nothing so incredible as hearing a heart only a couple of millimetres in size beating strongly. The man who made my baby in a petrie dish told me I have a 95% chance of a healthy baby by Christmas. It's amazing how far we have come.

My nerves have settled a lot. I am still anxious but 95% is a wonderful promise. And I look so weathered that clearly something is up. Our five year old is still ever so excited. The sixteen year old has calmed to the point the doors have stopped slamming, however her negative attention seeking behaviours have stepped back up a notch. She showered before school this morning, her first shower since at least Thursday last week. Today is Tuesday. I am feeling that bit ever so less able to cope. The Rabbit has been a bit difficult, because she's 5. And a half. But I am being intolerant. It's a house filled with female hormones. Poor Mr G.

I've just been shopping actually to see if I could tidy myself up. Since my behind is growing out of my trousers as fast as my belly I bought a pair of stretchy leggings and a few long tops. I had my hair cut and I've come home and changed and even put on makeup. I look like a tired chubba but a step away from a ghost. You know things aren't good when people in the mall give you a wide birth, especially when the mall I visited is filled with scruffy, unkempt hobos with varying numbers of snotty rugrats. For the moment anyway I no longer look like one of them. I'm going to have to make a daily effort.

I may not sound it, but I am ever so excited that I'm pregnant and it is just so very amazing. I just wish I could be tainted with a little glow...or at least have a little real life photo shopping!